Shout
by SVU-Obsessed
Summary: Based on the episodes Shout, SheBop and How Soon Is Now The three episodes dealing with Paige's rape. If you missed them, these are detailed account of the episodes.
1. Shout

Since so many Americans didn't see this episode, I've typed up the general idea of what happened in the episode "Shout". It was amazing, and I think it's something important for teenagers, especially the age of Desgrassi fans. This only includes what happened with Paige, not the sub- plots. I hope you enjoy it. I'll try and do what I can with "She Bop" and "How Soon Is Now", but I'm not promising anything.   
And of course, none of these characters or storylines belong to me. I'd love some feedback  
  
The sun was beating on us hard, and I wished desperately that they had chosen a lighter colour for our tops. It was warm, but a thousand times hotter in our shirts. Tack on us working our butts off, and Dean. . . well he sent the temperature into boiling. Or maybe that was just me.  
Hazel was leading the cheer behind me. She wasn't bad. I'd never admit that to her, but she was talented. She'd never take over my spot, but still decent. I was sitting this one out, giving her a taste of what it was like to be in control. Dean ran by.  
Dean. Absolutely gorgeous. Tall, dark, handsome, the whole deal. Almost six feet, brown hair, probably perfect for running fingers through, brown eyes, built, and a killer smile. And one hell of a soccer player.  
Everyone around me was going crazy. Degrassi was tied, only seconds left in the game. The girls had broken out of their formation and were jumping and screaming. I picked up my poms-poms and did the same. Spinner took control of the ball from the other team and with some fancy footwork, scrambled past them and shot into their net. Time was ticking away. . . 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. . . Degrassi wins!  
"Can you believe Spinner scored the winning goal?" I vaguely heard Hazel ask. I didn't care. All I could see was Dean.  
"Paige?" she asked, just as Dean walked by. Oh, the killer smile. And he smelled great. "Paige?"  
  
"It ain't never going to happen." Hazel told me when I filled her in on Dean. She didn't need filling in- any woman with eyes knew about Dean, but I also included my little detail about how we was going to be mine.  
"Ain't never?" I asked with a laugh. "That's a double negative. You are a double negative, and you're raining on my love parade."  
"Hey," Spinner said, coming up behind us.  
"Spinner, hey," I greeted, smiling. Spinner was a sweetie.  
"You were totally amazing out there," Hazel told him, then turned to me. " See? Double positive."  
"So you saw me win the game?" he asked proudly.  
"Mm-hmm. You were great," I told him sincerely.  
"So tomorrow night, do you want to hang out with Degrassi's new MVP? Maybe a movie?"  
"Saturday, right. I was going to work on my MI project."  
"Oh. Couldn't you do that Sunday?"  
"Um, sure. Why not? But Spinner, nothing gory, okay? No cops, no aliens, no psychos with masks."  
"Okay, I promise. Chick flick all the way." He smiled, then ran off to his adoring teammates  
"He's so in love with you."  
"What are you talking about? We've done stuff together before."  
"Not like this. Spinner, chick flicks?"  
"So what? Anyways, I am looking to date up this year, remember?"  
"I don't care what you say. Spinner's got a crush."  
"Hon, Spinner and I are just friends." We stopped walking and stopped a couple of meters away from the bus where Dean and his team were climbing on. I watched him for a minute before continuing.  
"He's handsome, he's mature," I began.  
"And he's totally leaving. Paige, your life is calling."  
"And I am definitely going to answer." I ran up to the bus and stood right outside the window. He looked and rolled his window down. I could help but notice the looks his teammates were giving me. Stay calm, Michalchuk, I told myself. Dean stuck his head out the window. " I just wanted to stay hi. Paige Michalchuk." I stuck my hand out.  
"Let me guess. Cheerleader," he said, taking my hand and grinning. Sparks!  
"Head cheerleader. But we call it 'Spirit Squad'."  
"Hey Spirit, I'm Dean."  
"I know." Oh, my God. Had I really just said I know? Great, now he'd think that I was stalking him. "I mean, you're the competition. Know your enemy and all that." Quick recovery. Sounded like it worked.  
"You guys wanna come to a party tomorrow night?" he asked me, then looked quickly at Hazel, then back to me. "Help us, I don't know, celebrate defeat?" This was great. This was amazing. Dean was inviting me! The bus engine started and the wheels started to turn.  
"I don't know. Where?" I asked, panicked inside that I wouldn't find out.  
"122 Pape. Anytime after seven."  
The bus turned the corner, and once there was no way they could still see us, Hazel and I did squealed. Then harsh reality hit me.  
"We so need something to wear!"  
  
By the next afternoon, Hazel and I had both found perfect outfits, and were on our way home when a pair of shoes started calling my name.  
"They're like six feet off the ground. Forget it. Trust me, we're good."  
Hazel could be so. . . frustrating at times. I wanted to say something, when I felt my phone start to vibrate. I pulled it out, opened it and found a message from Spinner. "It's Spinner." I told her.  
"You did cancel for tonight, right?"  
I knew there was something else I had to do. I shook my head.  
"You have to cancel."  
I couldn't just tell him that I was going out with another guy. I had to play the sympathy card. I had a sudden flash of genius. "Spinner, sorry to bail, Grandma in hospital. XOX Paige." I typed it quickly and pressed send. "There, we're good. Look, I know what I want, and I want those shoes."  
  
Hazel and I looked awesome. I had gotten a two piece brown crinkly set. The shirt showed a decent amount of skin, and was off the shoulder. Hazel had gotten a short blue dress, the same material as mine. Her hair was put up. I had curled my hair, and pulled some of it up. It had taken forever because of my hair's thickness, but it was all worth while in the end. I knocked on the door, and pulled nervously at my shirt.  
"Paige, you look great, relax." Hazel told me reassuringly.  
Dean answered the door. He looked possibly better than he had at the game with a red shirt and jeans. For a second, his eyes were dark, angry, but changed back to normal quickly. "Hey Dean."  
"Spirit, friend, come on in." It was packed inside. There was music blaring, people laughing, drinking, talking, dancing. All were in jeans, t-shirts. I tensed up. "So you decided to show up after all."  
"Yeah well, after your tragic loss, I figured you could use all the support you could get."  
"You did, huh?" He grinned, and a guy passed by. Dean turned to talk to him. "Eduardo, where you been!?" he exclaimed, walking off.  
"We are totally overdressed," Hazel hissed as soon as he was out of earshot.  
"We do stand out, but that's good. We just the need the attitude to back it up. Watch this." I scanned the crowd and found Dean talking to a group of people. I crept in with them.  
"That electro slash stuff is intense," one girl was saying.  
"And W-Zone is complete genius," Dean replied. This was my cue.  
"Oh, he's totally great. I pretty much love a electro slash." No response from the group. Silence was good. I surprised them, intimidated them. The first girl who had spoken looked me over. "Are you a big techno fan, Dean? I'd love to know what you think."  
"Sure." That darkness in his eyes flickered in his eyes again, then back to normal. "How 'bout a drink first?"  
"Please. I'm completely parched."  
"Hey, you might just want to chill," she said to me as Dean left.  
I looked her over. "Excuse me?"  
"Just. . . he's a little old for you."  
"And you're a little jealous."  
"Hey, Spirit, everything cool?" he asked, handing me a cup and putting his arm around me. My heart skipped a beat.  
"Perfect." I took a sip. It was awful, whatever it was. It smelled like alcohol.  
  
"You're whole squad's really great," Dean told me later on. The party had spilled out into the yard. "But you totally stood out."  
"I did?" I tried not to sound to immature. "What are you looking at?"  
"Your eyes. Are they green or blue?"  
My eyes? He was looking at my eyes? I loved him! "It depends on the light."  
"The most amazing coloured eyes I've ever seen. They're very beautiful." I felt like I was going to die of happiness when Hazel came over and pulled me aside.  
"Let's just go, okay?" she asked.  
Go? Was she out of her mind? "No way. I'm this close." I ignored her and went back to Dean."Dean, it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more private?"  
"After you." He took my hand and followed me through the crowd.  
"You are so cute," he said as he caught up with me, then kissed me on the cheek. He smelled great. I giggled. "I think my friend's room should be quiet." he said softly and led me up and flight of stairs and opened a door. I turned on a light, but he turned it off again.  
"I kinda like it dark," he told me with his arms around my waist.  
"But I can't see anything." Between the lava light and the dim light from the window, I could barely see his face.  
"Well, there's the bed, here's the door." He took my hand and led me to the bed. "And here's the party."  
"Why are we whispering?"  
"Because my friends are Neanderthals. We don't want them to hear us, right? Okay?" He kissed me slowly.  
"Okay." I kissed him again.  
"You are so adorable."  
"I am?"  
"Oh yeah. Come here." He layed me down on the bed. It seemed a bit fast to be on the bed already. "Is this okay?"  
"No. I mean, yeah." He kissed me fully on the lips, deeper than before. I didn't feel quite right. "Just take it slow, okay?" He kissed me even harder, then trailed down to my neck. Harder, and harder. This wasn't right. I tensed up. "Dean, I said slow."  
Dean sat up. Okay, he had heard me. This was alright. He was looking for something in his pocket, and pulled out a little plastic square. I had seen that square before.  
In health class.  
Dean had pulled out a condom.  
I couldn't breathe. I started hyperventilating. "Wha-?What are you doing?" He held the square with his teeth, unzipped his pants and ripped the condom wrapper open. "I don't think so." I tried desperately to get up, but Dean pushed me back down. In the moonlight I could see his eyes. They were angry, evil.  
I couldn't understand what was happening. All of a sudden, he lowered his body and started grunting.  
"Dean, no, Dean. Stop." This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be doing this. "I said stop! Stop, please." I started to cry. "Dean, get off me. Stop, please, no."  
  
I didn't want to go to school on Monday. I had avoided everyone on Sunday, but I'd have to deal with Terri, Hazel, everyone today. They couldn't know. They couldn't fin out.  
I found myself out on the bleacher before school. I hadn't slept. I kept seeing him. I kept seeing his eyes. Everything was playing over in my head. Where had I gone wrong? How could I have missed that he was evil?  
"You are so adorable," he had told me. I trusted him.  
"I am?"  
"Oh yeah."  
I was snapped out of my trance by the bell ringing. I picked up my bag and walked slowly towards the school.  
  
I had made it through first period. I had to make it through the rest of the day. I had to make it through, and maybe no one would know. I was bent over my locker when someone came up behind me and pocked my in the stomach. He was there. How had he come to my school? How had-. I turned around and realised that it was Hazel.  
"Hazel, give me a heart attack why don't you?"  
"It was a joke. What's wrong with you?"  
"Nothing. I'm fine."  
"Okay, what's the big news. Does it have to do with Dean?" Terri asked, rushing up behind us.  
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."  
"Maybe? They went upstairs," Hazel told her as if I couldn't hear.  
If you only knew, I thought,  
"Upstairs? Like alone upstairs?"  
"Uh, what do you think, Ter?"  
"So you did?"  
"Yeah, we did," I said.  
  
Media Immersion was hell. Mr. Simpson gave me heck for not doing my homework. Part of me wanted to scream at him 'do you know why I didn't do my homework? Do you know what happened to me this weekend? I had more important things to deal with. I didn't want to deal with them. I would have preferred to do homework than deal with what I had to deal with!', but I settled with forgetting to e-mail it to my school account.  
Hazel turned to me. "Someone's in love."  
"Please, I am not in love. Or, Dean's not. He hasn't called."  
"So? He will."  
"He would have by now."  
"Girl, give him time."  
"Hazel, you don't understand. He didn't just kiss me."  
"What? Paige, you-?" I nodded. "You did? You did it with Dean?"  
"Paige, Hazel, your assignment."  
  
"How can you even concentrate? This is very big news, you know," Hazel told me in our next class.   
"It's not news, okay?"  
"How'd you know it was right?"  
Right? Nothing about it was right! "It's not like I planned it."  
"Was it totally romantic?"  
"Can we talk about this later? Please? I'm trying to read."  
"Come on Paige, give me something. I'm dying here."  
"I'll change seats if you don't shut up." I didn't want to talk about it.  
  
"Paige?" Spinner called after me. I had had a really crappy day so far, and I really didn't want any grief.  
"Hey, Spin."  
"How's your grandma?"  
"What?"  
"Your grandma. The one who was sick on Saturday night."  
My grandma. How stupid could I have been? If I hadn't cancelled on him, this never would have happened. "Oh, uh, she's okay." I walked off.  
"And Dean? How's he doing?" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. "I know what happened, okay?"  
"Yeah? We're you in the room with me? 'Cause I don't think you were."  
"You lied to me," he accused, grabbing my arm.  
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me."  
"Why not? Everyone else does."  
That comment totally killed me. I could take a lot of things from a lot of people, but that wasn't one of the things I could deal with. I slapped him hard across the face and ran into the washroom.  
  
"Paige? Paige? I just saw Spinner. He was completely out of line," Hazel was saying as she looked under each stall for me. I was huddled on the floor in one, crying.  
"It wasn't what I thought, you know? My first time. I hoped it would be beautiful or something." I stood up, walked out of the stall and over to the sink. "I'm so stupid. Those shoes."  
"It's not stupid."  
"I wanted it to work. I wanted him to want to be with me."  
"It did."  
"Yeah, sure."  
"He'll call you. You don't have to be so upset."  
"I didn't even want to do it, Hazel. I said no, over and over."  
"You said no?" she asked. I nodded. "And he didn't listen?"  
"He just pushed me down, harder, he wouldn't stop."  
"Paige, honey, if you said no. . . that's rape."  
I broke down into a fresh set of tears after that. It was one thing to know that was happened fit the description of rape, but when she said it, it finally hit me. I had been raped.  
  
"Paige! Hey! Wait up! Whatever happened to going to the doctor after school?" Hazel said, running after me. I didn't want to deal with her anymore. I just wanted her to go away. I kept walking, but she caught up.  
"Why would I?"  
"I don't know. To check on STD's, pregnancy."  
"He wore a condom. Safe sex all the way."  
"What Dean did was illegal, you know that right?"  
I turned around to face her. "Yeah? And what about what I did?"  
"You didn't do anything."  
"I didn't dress like a slut? I didn't drink? I didn't come on to him in front of the whole party?"  
"Paige. . ."  
"I guess I didn't go upstairs either."  
"You said no."  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It does matter. Paige, you have to tell someone."  
"No I don't. I can deal with it."  
"Paige, you were raped."  
"Look, my business, my problem. I'm fine." 


	2. SheBop

This is from the epsiode "She-Bop" (AKA Shout part 2). Hopefully I'll have How Soon Is Now up later today, otherwise I'll never get it done. I hope you like this one.  
Once again, none of these characters or storylines belong to me. They're just completly awesome!  
  
I walked into the bathroom, exhausted and sweaty after practice. I had put down my pom-poms and was about to splash cold watch on my face when I heard someone behind me. I looked up slowly and saw his reflection. First, the muscular forearms, the ones that held me down and for the first time, I noticed a flame tattoo on him. Then up, his chest, and finally to his face.  
"Hey Spirit." He thought this was a joke. He was almost smirking when he saw my reaction.   
"Dean," I asked, my voice echoing in the empty room. "What are you doing in the girl's washroom?"  
"I just thought I'd say hi," he told me, full of himself. He started walking towards me.  
"Okay." I said it as calmly as I could, but my voice still shook slightly.  
"Relax," he said, coming even closer to me, leaning on the sink beside me. I turned to face him. "We had a good time at that party together, didn't we?"  
"Dean. . . you-." I felt sick just having the smell of him near me.  
"I what? I didn't do anything. We just had a good time."  
He was coming even closer, pushing me into the sink. I was furious. "You raped me."  
"You wanted it and don't you dare you dare tell me you wanted any different." He was pushing on my body now, leaning on me.  
"No," I cried. "No, get off me." I desperately tried to push him off of me. "No, no."  
Everything around me started melting away, and I opened my eyes. I gasped and turned my alarm clock off.  
It was just a dream.  
  
"Paige!" Terri called after me on my way in to school. She ran up beside me and showed me a crumpled flyer.  
"Pantene Pro-Voice competition. Celebrating what women have to say," I read out loud. "Does your band have what it takes to make a splash on the music scene?"  
"Now's your chance!"  
"Ter, we don't have a band. "PMS broke up, remember?"  
"But this is too perfect!"  
"Winning band get's a demo CD," I continued out loud. "And a trip to LA?!"  
"I told you."  
"To perform live for record executives! This is a serious prize. This isn't like winning a towel or a movie pass. Terri, we could move to LA."  
  
Later, in Media Immersion, I entered us into the competition.  
"PMS could totally win this," I said confidently.  
"With. . . Ash, we'd have a better chance.  
"Not in this band."  
Ah, saved by the bell. "Have a good day gang," Mr. Simpson called out, thereby officially signalling the end of class.  
"But we need a real singer," she said as I picked up my bag.  
"Fine." I got up and putting my hand on Hazel's chair. "Meet Hazel Spice," I told her, spinning Hazel around. "Newest member of the new improved PMS reunion tour.  
"Are you serious?" she asked hopefully. I nodded. She stood up and sung a few shaky lines of Amazing Grace.  
"La la la la la la la. La la la la la la la," Hazel was trilling when I got into the gym after school for rehearsal.  
"Hazel?" I asked, annoyed. " Must you?"  
"Sorry I'm late. I wanted to get in the mood." I turned around and saw Terri in a sparkly top and huge sun glasses.  
"You wore that last year. And, uh, cheesy pop chicks are over. Why do you have to be so out of touch?"  
"Why do you have to be so mean?" she asked.  
"I'm not mean. I'm right. So. . . new wardrobe."  
"No."  
"Pardon?"  
"What didn't you get? I said no."  
"Ter. . ." Hazel began.  
"Paige doesn't understand that word. Never has."  
"You better stop right there." I warned. I understood the word no. I understood it all too well. And I knew what happened when someone ignored you when you said no about something important.  
"Look. We all want to win, so let's calm down and rehearse, okay? Paige? Ter?"  
Terri and I begrudgingly agreed. Hazel pressed a button the keyboard, and a pop tune started.  
"I wish I knew just what to do yeah. To make this secret wish come true, yeah."  
Terri and I had started playing, but I stopped after that. She was off beat and off key. I couldn't take this much longer.  
"Uh, Paige, what are you doing?" she asked.  
"This isn't working." I told them and walked out. I knew what I had to do.  
  
When I walked up to her door, I could hear her singing and playing the piano. I knocked on the door, and the music promptly stopped. A minute later, she opened the door.  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I can't believe you're even asking," was all she could say after I explained our situation.  
"We need you. It's embarrassing."  
"Oh no. Can't let that happen. Poor Paige."  
I ignored her sarcasm. "Your poem is great, okay. It's about something real and it made me think." I was referring to a poem she had written in English class.  
"It doesn't matter. It's going to end up just like last year."  
"It won't. I promise."  
"I wanted to take it seriously. But you guys wouldn't."  
"We cheesed out. But this time we need to thing about real stuff."  
"Like what?"  
"Like, how it feels when you're dumped. Or, like, abuse. Pain. Feeling sad. Whatever you want. Just so long as it mean something."  
"This doesn't sound like Paige."  
"Without you, we don't have a chance."  
"Do you seriously thing we have a chance?"  
"You know what? I do." And I meant it. I smiled. Ash followed suit.  
  
"We have lyrics?" I asked the next day at lunch.  
"We do. I just finished them this morning. And I printed out you guys new copies in media immersion."  
"Ooh, sneaky girl." I joked.  
"Melody's the same, but the words are way more powerful."  
"It's kind of heavy," Hazel said after reading them quickly.  
"Well, yeah. It's about rape. Paige said last night "Let's make it real". My poem was okay, but I did some research on-line. Did you know that by the time that girls reach university, one in four has been sexually assaulted?"  
"'You took my body and tore it in half.' This really isn't working for me." Dean had taken my body and torn it in half. It was exactly what happened with me, but I didn't want to tell everyone about it. I couldn't let them know that I was the 'Poor Thing'.  
"But the stories are incredible. From girls our age. You wouldn't believe some of the things I read."  
"Let's use the original lyrics, okay?" I asked, trying desperately to stay calm. I wanted to yell at her, and crawl in a ball in cry.  
"This is way more interesting."  
"I agree," Terri added.  
"I don't really care. I like the other version better."  
  
I settled for the second choice. The Media Immersion room, which was my next class. I heard Ashley walk in behind me. I quickly wiped my face.  
"You wanna win, right?" she asked.  
"Not with those lyrics."  
"I wrote exactly what you asked me to. Something real. But you're asking just like last year."  
"Give it up Ashley, okay?"  
"Tell me what's wrong with the lyrics, and I will." She raised her voice just as people started piling in.  
"Singing a song about rape will not win the contest."  
"I though we had an agreement."  
"I said something real, not something you got off the net and know nothing about."  
"I'm allowed to imagine!"  
"No, you're not!" We both stopped when we realised that the whole class was watching us. I took a deep breath and continued softly. "After school, in the music room. Bring the right lyrics."  
  
"It happens to other people. You say how sad, you say poor thing. But when it's you, it's something else. It's everything. Friends you loved, and thought you knew, just disappear." Ash was practising as Terri and Hazel came in. Hazel held up a sign saying 'I can't sing'.  
"Hon, you're not that bad," I told her honestly.  
She made a face and turned the sign over. The word 'Polyps' was written on the other side. Terri tied to pronounce it.  
"Polyps," she said in a strained whisper. "Over-practice."  
"But we go on tomorrow," Terri whined.  
"Ash, you're singing solo."  
"Awesome! Sorry Hazel." Started the music. "One, two, three, four. You took my body, and tore it in half. You took my childhood, my heart and my laugh."  
I stopped playing. "How many times do I have to say it? We're not using those lyrics!"  
"Paige, if I'm singing, those are the lyrics we'll perform."  
"No! I can't believe I wanted you back in this band!" I stormed angrily out of there.  
  
"The song is stronger. Anyone with half an emotion would know that!"  
She had found me at my locker. I didn't want to deal with her anymore.  
"What do you know about rape?"  
"I researched it. I know a lot more about it than you do."  
I slammed my locker door and sunk to the floor. I started sobbing softly.  
"Paige?"  
"Just leave me alone."  
"I. . . I had no idea." She sat down beside me. "I'm so sorry."  
"Nobody knows. Only Hazel. I keep trying to forget, but. . . I can't. He's in my nightmares."  
"Have you been to a doctor?"  
"He wore a condom. Very thoughtful, huh?"  
"What about a counsellor?"  
"I can't. Okay? I just, I can't. And I can't play that song. I know it's a better version but-"  
She put her arm around me. "Shh. It's okay. We'll play the other one. It's okay. It's okay, it's okay. It's going to be okay Paige." She just held me while I cried.  
  
"Welcome to the Pantene Pro-Voice Competition," the announcer boomed. Ashley, Terri Hazel and I were getting ready to go onstage.  
"You look totally gorgeous." Ash told me. "You okay?"  
"Yeah. I promise."  
"I am so nervous," Terri said, coming over to us.  
"Don't sweat it. We'll be fine."  
"Uh-uh. We'll be great. Original lyrics and all," Ashley reminded.  
"And now, a group from Degrassi. Give it up for PMS."  
"Let's go do it," Terri said with a grin. The four of us walked onstage.  
"Alright. We are PMS and this is Poor Thing," Ash said to the crowd and started the music. I started my guitar rift when I saw him.  
Dean was here.  
In the front row  
Looking straight at me. I froze. I walked backwards, and turned to Ash.  
"What's going on?" she asked.  
"He's here."  
"Who?"  
"Him. I can't." I looked back into the crowd. Dean grinned and winked at me. I looked back at Ash. I had to do something. Dean and I hadn't had a good time, and what he did wasn't alright. It was time he knew that. I turned around and spoke into the microphone.  
"It- it happens to other people. You say how sad. You say poor thing. But when it's you, it's different. It's everything." I strummed my guitar and started singing, glaring at Dean. You'll never believe the nightmare. You'll never now the pain you caused. You'll never see the scars, you left."  
Behind me, a very confused Terri, Hazel and Ash finally caught on. They picked up the music from where I was. "The things you stole. Everything was lost. You took my body. Tore it in half." Dean got up. He knew exactly what I was saying. He knew what He had done was wrong, and I Was singing to him. I finally smiled. "You took my child hood, my heart and my laugh. You took everything except for myself. And then you're gone. I'm not you're poor thing. You took my body. Tore it in half. You took my child hood, my heart and my laugh. You took everything except for myself. And then you're gone. I'm not you're poor thing. Poor thing." The crowd was into, Terri and Ash were singing back-up. We sounded great. But that wasn't the important thing. Dean couldn't convince himself that I had agreed to do what he had done. He knew he was wrong. And I finally knew it myself.  
  
"I guess those California beach boys will have to wait," Hazel said sadly Monday morning.  
"You know. LA's really not that great. It's all like mini-malls and freeways," Ash told us.  
"You were robbed!" Elie exclaimed from behind us. "I can't believe you only got a honourable mention."  
"Really?" I asked. "You liked it?"  
"Paige, you were awesome. Truly."  
"You know, she was right though," Ash told her. "A song about rape will never come first."  
"Especially not when I'm singing it." Everyone but Ash left. We stopped outside of the guidance office.  
"So, you okay?"  
"I'm ready to talk. Well, as ready as I'll ever be." 


	3. How Soon Is Now

So here's the final chapter. The whole story has been taken directly from the show so far, and I was wondering if you wanted me to continue with me making up a couple of chapters and take you through the trial and things like that. Your choice. Let me know. Thanks.  
  
Once again, none of these characters or storylines belong to me.  
  
"What you did changed my life," I read out loud to my counsellor from a journal assignment she had gotten me to write. "I still can't sleep without my light on. Sometimes, I look under the bed, worried you might be there. I made a mistake going upstairs with you, but Dean, you made more than a mistake. You made a choice."  
"An important distinction."  
"Well, yeah. Because this whole thing belongs on Mr. Evil's conscience."  
"And your conscience?"  
"I said no. So, how could I feel responsible?"  
"You've stopped blaming yourself."  
"Yeah, I have."  
"Excellent progress. And, we'll keep working on it. Same time next week?"  
"Ms. Sovet? Therapy is great but. . ."  
"I strongly recommend that you continue. I'll pencil you in anyway."  
"Pencil away. But it is a waste of an appointment. I'm over this."  
  
"That was great guys. Take a break," I told the squad after an awesome rehearsal of a new routine.  
"Paige, that choreography kills."  
"I try. The crowd tomorrow won't know what hit them."  
"Spinner. Finally decided to join the Spirit Squad?" Hazel asked as Spinner walked into the gym.  
"Ha ha. Dream on. I just got the final name for tomorrow's tourney. Bardell." He glared at me. "Your boyfriend's back." He left.  
"Hazel. . . he's coming to my school." I had gotten so far. I was supposed to be past this. But when he said Dean was coming, All I could were his eyes.  
  
"Paige. Back so soon?" Ms. Sovet asked.  
"I wanted to ask about pressing charged. Against Dean."  
"Wow. Okay. We'll have to set up a meeting with your mom."  
"No, I know. But what actually happens?"  
"Well, the police will get involved. You'll probably be asked to testify."  
"And then we send him to jail?"  
"If there's enough evidence, yes."  
"Well, I had all those doctors exams."  
"And they assured us that you were injury free and that you hadn't developed any STD's, but. . ."  
"They're not evidence."  
"Unfortunately, Paige, the longer you wait to report it, the less physical evidence there is. We don't have DNA samples or pictures of bruising."  
"So what? I got to court, tell the truth, and could still loose?"  
"Possibly."  
I couldn't believe this. "But that's so unfair."  
"Hold on. Don't get too discouraged. If this is what you want, then we'll make the best case we can."  
"Forget it. I just thought I'd ask."  
  
Score one more win for Dean.  
  
I was sitting outside the school when JT tapped on the window and started performing his latest mime routine. I rolled my eyes and went inside. He met me at the door.  
"Hey, come on, wind tunnel man. That's comic gold," he said, following me.  
"I thought mimes were supposed to be silent."  
"Paige, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Like at practice?"  
"No, for once, it's not about you. It's about me not cheering tomorrow."  
"What? We need you."  
"Deal with it."  
"Why?"  
How could I make JT understand without telling him. "It's really none of your business."  
"If I'm sweating in some mascot costume, and you're at home watching TV, it is my business."  
Someone's coming tomorrow. From Bardell. I can't see him."  
"Did he dump you or something?"  
Dump me. Why hadn't he done that before we went upstairs. In fact, why had he been interested in the first place? "Or something," I answered weakly.  
"Well. . . just give him some of your world-famous attitude. Show him who's boss."  
Dean knew that he was boss. He knew that he had control of me. "Is that why you've been stalking me? To give me a pep talk?"  
JT didn't respond. He just gave me a smile and walked off. I had no choice but to go the next day. I didn't want to, and I didn't know how I was going to, but I had to go.  
  
I scanned my room. Cheerleading outfit, pom-poms, Our Lady Peace poster. Everything that was so stupid, but still so important to me. My alarm clock went off. I quickly switched it off. I was already ready and dressed. Well, dressed at least. I could never be ready.  
  
"Are you going to be okay?" Hazel asked as we walked in to school. The bus from Bardell pulled up.  
"I'm staying far away from him."  
"Paige. Are we doing elevator formation first or. . ." Manny was asking. I didn't care. I looked over to the bus. I saw Dean. I flashed back to that night, his eyes angry and cold. "Paige? Paige?"  
"Let's go," Hazel said, pulling me away from my thoughts.  
"Spirit!" a voice called. I kept going. He ran up to me. He still thought it was all just a joke. "Hold up. So, what's in a day's plan. A little rah-rah cheering, or another serenade from your little girl band?" His smell. I was choking on his smell.  
"This is my school, and I don't want to see or talk to you again." I turned around and went into the school, but he followed me.  
"Lighten up. We had fun."  
"Fun!?" I exclaimed, incredulous. "You think what you did to me was fun!?"  
He turned to Hazel. "Night of the party, you were there. Tell me, who did Spirit come to see?" Hazel didn't say anything. "Right. Me."  
"I said no."  
"Everyone there saw a girl who wanted it. Bad. And she got it. Go shake your little pom-poms and look cute, Spirit." He started walking backwards and grinned. "I got a game."  
  
"We can beat them," I told Hazel confidently after looking over the competition.  
Dean came up and mimicked me. "Yeah? You think so Spirit? Good luck."  
"I'll see you later," I said to Hazel and ran off.  
  
"You told Spinner?" I asked Hazel as we sat by the busses, eating lunch.  
"I wanted him to understand."  
"Well, what did he say?"  
"He didn't believe me."  
"He thinks I. . . I wanted it. Right? I'm going home."  
"Paige."  
"You were right. I should have stayed there. Dean wins again." I turned around and saw Manny talking with Dean. He was acting exactly like he had with me.  
  
"Hey, Paige. I can't wait for half-time. I'm nailing that flip. What's going on?" Manny asked as I started walking with her.  
"Um, earlier, I saw you and Dean talk outside."  
"He started talking to me."  
"Don't be alone with him, okay? Someone warned me about him once, and I should have listened. He seems nice-"  
"He is nice."  
"Manny, what do you know? You talked to him for five minutes!" I was so frustrated with her.  
"I know you guys had a date. And I know he never called you back. I know you're jealous. Get over it."  
  
"Oh fearless leader," JT called. I was sitting on the steps outside the school  
"Go away," I told him. I was on the verge of tears again.  
"You say that all the time, but we both know you don't mean it."  
"Yeah, well, this time I do."  
"Paige, the squad needs you."  
I got up and stormed away. But JT wasn't giving up that easily. "Leave me alone!"  
"He's just some stupid guy, right?"  
You mean Dean? Bardell's resident sports hero? . . and rapist? Yeah. He raped me. And no one in the world seems to be able to do anything about it."  
JT looked shocked for a minute, then angry. For a little guy, he certainly had his rage. He stormed off to the gym. He had forgotten his mascot head.  
"JT," I called. He didn't turn around. I followed him into the school, but he disappeared into the gym way before I got there.  
Everyone was cheering. The game was getting heated. A play was about to stat when JT stormed onto the court and pushes Dean from behind. Dean turned around, and JT tried to punch him. Dean was a wall- he couldn't feel it. JT finally hit him, waving his hands around like crazy. Dean thought it was hilarious. I didn't know what to do. I just stood off to the side of the court and watched, fearing for JT.  
"Too much for you, Mr. Rapist?" JT fumed?  
Dean had stayed calm until JT had called him a rapist. He picked JT up and threw him down. Dean sat on him, and was about to punch him hard when the ref finally caught his arm. I breathed a sigh of relief. The ref sent Dean to his bus.  
"To the principal's office. Now!" Mr. Armstrong commanded JT.  
I still didn't know what to do. When JT passed me, he took his head and gave me a sympathetic smile. I ran after him.  
"Paige," someone called after me. I turned around. Spinner was standing there. I didn't need anymore now. This was enough. "What's going on?"  
"Nothing."  
"JT in the mascot outfit attacking Dean? That's not nothing."  
I turned around to ignore him, but he turned me around. I was ready to yell at him. "Spin, could you just-" I broke off. I couldn't be angry at him. I was ready to cry again. Spinner knew the answer to his next question.  
"Something happened to you."  
"I just got what I asked for, right?"  
"He took it too far. Like Hazel said. Right? Didn't he?"   
I didn't get a chance to answer. Dean came out of the gym and headed for the doors. Spinner took off after him. "Hey! Hey! You're not going anywhere!"  
He finally caught up with Dean by the busses and shoves him into the bus. Dean pushes him off.  
"Your mascot came at me."  
"You think that's what this is?"  
"Spinner, please," I begged.  
"What? He deserves it."  
"Spinner. . ."  
"Water boy your boyfriend?" Dean asked, smirking.  
I knew what I had to do. This was the final straw. He couldn't get away with this any longer. "I have one thing to say to you Dean. Get ready, because I am coming after you this time. Not like Spinner or the mascot. For real."  
He had no response to that. He turned around and got on the bus. It worked. I scared him. And I was going to continue scaring him. He could never get away with this.  
  
"You're sure?" Ms. Sovet asked when I told her my plan.  
"Mom and I talked. I wanna press charges."  
"Good. Now it's a legal matter. So no more conversations with Dean. Okay?"  
"Fine by me."  
"So. . . Tuesday?"  
"Three o'clock sharp. You can write it in pen this time. I wanna scare him, Ms. Sovet. So bad he doesn't this of ever doing this to someone else."  
  
I walked out of the guidance office and Spinner was waiting for me. "Hey. What are you doing here? Should you be in your hair net?" We walked towards some benches.  
"I traded a shift, so I could spend lunch with you." He held two sandwiches and two drinks.  
"Wow. Lucky Me."  
We sat down and I took a bite. "Um, we're not all like Dean, you know. Some of us are good guys."  
"I know. That's why I wanted to ask. Year-end dance. You going with anyone?"  
"No."  
"So then. . . go with me. I owe you a date anyway, right?"  
"Yeah. You do." I laughed. Spinner smiled. This was how things were supposed to be. 


End file.
